Whay Whay Joo Joo

Um, a little help here!!

[If you heard that, Hagakure means you, because he's in a huge pickle right now.

Or should it be said that his Miltank is in a huge pickle? Because Hagakure's desperately holding onto her front hooves as...a beam of light coming from a pretty classic-looking UFO is trying to carry her away while she moos distressingly. His Elgyem is doing his best to help out but he's just a tiny alien so he's not doing much good.

Let's save the discussion about an alien trying to save a cow from other aliens for another time because this is a serious situation okay?]

Come on, dude! She's my beloved lucky cow!! Help me, please!!

[He's absolutely hysterical, but can you blame him? This situation is utterly ridiculous and he's not sure how it's even happening. He's not even sure how Hathor got over here but like hell he's going to let her be taken!

He's not allowing another cattle mutilation to happen in his presence again.]

Check this out!

[And just as abruptly as the feed started, there's suddenly a big bird-looking thing shoved in front of the camera. While it cries in shock of suddenly being jerked around, Hagakure just sounds really excited about it all.]

You guys never told me this world has living OOParts! This is seriously amazing, dudes! This guy looks just like one of the Nazca Lines drawings! So do you know what this could mean?

[He leans in close to the 'Gear, which is when you can see that he's absolutely filthy with dust and dirt. Someone's been digging around in the Ruins of Alph for quite some time, apparently.]

Not only were the people who made those drawings sending messages to ancient aliens, they were drawing tributes to actual creatures! Pokemon totally appeared on Earth at one point, true as truth! This is groundbreaking discovery that's gonna turn the scientific community on its head whenever I get back home!!

[He looks so proud of himself for saying something so utterly ridiculous. Unfortunately he actually believes this to be true.]

But seriously, this place is full of cool ancient Pokemon! I got these guys too—

[He turns the camera to show a weird top and floating mirror. His other Pokemon—an Elgyem, Abra, and Chingling—come into the picture to meet their new teammates.]

They both come from ancient times and have been chilling in these ruins up until now, I guess. How cool is that? It almost looks like they could've been made by those ancient people too, 'cause Baltoy's like a living clay statue!

Man, this has gotta be the coolest place in this world. Hey, does Johto and Kanto have any other ruins? I wanna see all the cool ancient Pokemon!

[Just as he's about to the end the feed, he remembers something.]

Oh yeah! One last thing before I check out. When me and Kuwata-chi get to Goldenrod I'm gonna officially open my fortune-telling services to the public! We're hoping to get to Goldenrod by the end of October so be on the lookout for me! But if you're really eager, I'll be in Azalea for a little while before heading to Goldenrod so you can always request my services there. My name's Yasuhiro Hagakure, the Super High-school Level Fortune Teller, just for reference.

I'm lookin' forward to reading your fortunes! Non-believers need not apply, of course. [HE'S LOOKING AT YOU, BLAKE.]

[And with that, he cuts out.]