crystalballer | fortune 001 | video/action for New Bark Town [DR spoilers mentioned]

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fortune 001 | video/action for New Bark Town [DR spoilers mentioned]

[The feed opens up to a twenty-something with impossibly huge hair, who's shakily gripping the 'Gear in terror.]

Hello? Is anyone there? This is Yasuhiro Hagakure. This better be the network thing I heard people talking about, 'cause you guys are my last hope!

I don't wanna freak you guys out or anything, but this is serious. [He leans his face closer to the 'Gear's screen like he's trying to keep a secret.] I've been abducted by aliens. Full on encounter with the fourth kind, dude! I've even got proof!

[He points the 'Gear down to show a little grey alien-looking Pokemon. If it could show any real emotion, it would look pretty damn annoyed right now. Of course it had to end up with the crazy trainer.]

See?! He totally abducted me when I finally got outside for the first time in forever! I bet he was waiting for me to get out so he could take me! Ohhh, I should've listened to my vision when it said leaving that place wasn't a good idea...!

[He takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, but he's still shaking.]

Anyway, he won't take me to his leader or anything, so I need your help! Someone come to New Bark Town quick before his friends get here and take me away for experimentation! You guys gotta believe me, 'cause no one else in this town will! Please help m--!

[Just as he's about to finish this ridiculous SOS, someone or something crashes into him from behind. While the look on his face was hilarious, the next part of the feed is gonna be hell for those who get motion sick easily. The 'Gear goes flying out of Hagakure's hands and flips a few times before spiraling to the ground. When it finally lands, Hagakure can be seen a few feet away, faceplanted into the ground with a firey red-headed boy sprawled on top of him.

He peels his face off the dirt and moves to get this kid off of him.]

Seriously, dude? Watch where you're running!

Well who the hell just stands in the middle of the road, dumbass!

[Is the snappy, loud retort to Hagukure's complaint. The Gear's at an awkward enough angle that his face can't be seen, but fellow students of Hope Academy should recognize that punk rock hairstyle.

The redhead pulls himself off Hagakure and dusts off the dirt on his shirt.]

Damn it, got it dirty too. Seriously, you're lucky I'm a bit out of shape otherwise I'd totally have knocked you over fla-a-a-a-t...

[And as abruptly as he came smashing into the feed, the redhead's voice trails off into temporary stunned silence. It's only the back of his head that's visible to the viewers, but one can imagine that he's got quite a look of shock on his face.]

H-hey. You're...

[The hushed tone doesn't last for long though. A pair of hands reach out and grab Hagakure's collar, yanking him upwards roughly as a fierce yell bursts its way from the teen's throat.]

You've got some fucking nerve to show your fucking face to me, you fucking asshole!

[Hagakure doesn't even have time to react to the appearance of a classmate he never thought he'd see again, because before he knows it he's being pulled off the ground and throttled by a screaming teenager.]

What the hell are you talking about, dude?! You ran into me......

[And then it finally hits him. This is... oh god. Hagakure immediately lets out an undignified scream at the sight of this kid. It's like he's really seeing a ghost from the shade of white his face just turned.

First he was abducted by aliens, and now this? F his life tbh.]

K-Kuwata-chi?!

Oh sweet merciful gods, Kuwata-chi's come back to haunt me! [He goes into panic mode.] I swear I didn't want to vote for you man, b-but I had to! Please don't kill me!!

[Hagakure then looks around desperately. When he finally spots the 'Gear, he tries to make a grab for it, but it's futile since the 'Gear is so far away and he's still being pinned by Leon. So he opts to yell for whoever will listen.]

H-Help me! Anyone! Please!

[It's at this moment that the 'Gear is picked up by Hagakure's Elgyem and shut off as it dashes toward the two boys in attempt to break them up. This...could get ugly.]

[[OOC: Joint post with Leon (

struck_out)! ICly, responses will come after they've had their little confrontation. They should be cooled down by then.]]

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[Crocker is sitting in very dim lighting and only his glasses and white shirt are reflecting whatever light there is.]

What do you mean aliens aducted you? Not that there isn't such a thing as aliens but that's besides the point, It was fairies tell you! FAIRIES brought us ... Here.

[Pause] What the heck - that's not an alien? [Denzel question if that is an alien not a kind he's heard about.]

[Wow, this afterlife world sure is full of interesting people! But at least someone's talking to him about the aliens.]

Aliens are just as real as fairies are, dude! But what makes you say it was fairies? I've never heard of fairies abducting people before.

[He stares down at his Elgyem who is now sitting beside him.] What do you mean? He totally looks like an alien! Grey, little body, big head...he matches up perfectly, right?

I never said aliens weren’t real. [Mumbles to himself] Actually, that's besides the point! I've actually seen one.

I just never seen an alien like that... Then again, I'm not an alien expert. And then to account for multiple universes in this place. Could be, I suppose...

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT?! Aliens are green and squid like. [At least the ones he's seen.]

[Oh, so that's why he's confused. Hagakure just laughs a bit.]

You're talkin' like there's only one kind of alien, dude. They come in all shapes and colors! The ones we're talking about are just a couple among tons and tons.

You said you've actually seen some though? That's awesome, man! I've seen some too, before this place of course.

[Denzel cringes at the laughing. Since he's use to be the one being made fun of.]

They do? Of course! That makes perfect sense! [Twitchy eye twitch]

So, what are you? Some kind of alien expert in your world?

Yes, one once. It was in my classroom and than I was aducted and forced into an alien wedding... [Mumbles] Thank goodness the honeymoon was cancelled.
[Not sure you even want to know this story Hagakure.]

YES! [Slight twitch] I have... It was nice up until the forced marriage part, yes.

Care to share?

Nah, that's just common knowledge.

[Yeah, just the mention of "alien wedding" is enough for Hagakure. He's not sure whether to be horrified or amazed. Maybe both?]

You got forced into an alien wedding? Dude, I've never heard of that happening before! Did you at least get it on tape?!

Me? Well, my burger got abducted by aliens once, no joke.

[He's completely serious.]

Where you are from perhaps, yes.

Yes. [Which was a sub text of let's not go there, please.] What? NO! WHY WOULD I? [The one time he doesn't have his memory wiped about something paranormal... and mumbles] I wish I could forget it. [There's a pause and Crocker mumbles more to himself.] I wish that could had been Geraldine at the altar and not some alien. [Before the man groans in heartache at the thought.]

Oh? [Sadly Crocker is going to buy this.] Now, why would they be interested in a burger I wonder...

[Hagakure lets out a disappointed sigh.]

More like why wouldn't you, dude! You'd be the talk of the entire scientific community if you caught that! It would've been the find of the century!

[But what's done is done...and they're not even in their home worlds so it doesn't really matter, does it?]

Ever heard of cattle mutilation? It's totally that. They were after the beef to use it for experimentation!

Because I'm not trying to prove the existance of aliens. I'm trying to prove the existance of - FAIRY GODPARENTS! [There's that spazz and someone hits the floor.] Ow.

[There's a pause, however a slight tch can be heard.] Those morons wouldn't believe video recording. [After all, they wouldn't believe photographs of fairies.]

I told you I'm no alien expert like someone here is. [Crocker was genuinely saying that Hagakura is an alien expert.] My expertise lies in magic. So, no. I can't say I have heard of 'cattle mutilation'.

Huh. I suppose that makes perfect sense. [Twitchy twitch.]

[Okay, the spazzing is getting kind of strange, even for Hagakure. He stares long and hard at the screen.]

Okaaay, then you could've tried to bring the aliens with you! There were right there, dude. In my case, they didn't even get out of their ship!

... What's this about fairy godparents now?

[He's familiar with them, but that's one kind of fairy he's never actually seen.]

[Denzel stares back after all he's use to getting stares for one reason or another.]

You're persistent and searching for the truth. I LIKE THAT! [Not shouting in anger more of an exclamation.]

Like I said, I'm not out to prove the existence of aliens, I'll leave that up to someone else. [Wondering if this is how he is with fairies.]

They're magical creatures from where I'm from, granting a child's every wish and I dedicated my life to proving their existence and stealing their magic! [Cue the maniacal laughter]

You should definitely do it anyway next time, dude. Doesn't hurt to help people who are out there to prove their existence, right?

[Well this dude is seriously weird but Hagakure kind of likes his style. At least he believes in this stuff. Everyone else is always so skeptical!]

Whoa, so they're really a thing where you're from? I've only ever heard of 'em, but no one's actually seen 'em. What do you want their magic for?

Why?! [Denzel sounds aggravated and bitter.] Why I, Mr. Denzel Crocker, never receive any help with those fairies.

[There's a beat] You know I like you. Most people won't talk about these things like this.

That's just a plain silly question - OF COURSE THEY ARE! [Crocker exclaims]

To RULE THE UNIVERSE! [Cue the sounding off his rocker and maniacal laughter]

Thanks, dude! Same here though. No one ever believes me when I talk about aliens and cryptids and stuff.

[Hagakure frowns.] Y'know, you might just get help with your stuff if you help people with their stuff.

[Except he's not sure if he would help this guy with fairies if he's going to rule the universe with them.]

They have that much power? But how're you gonna get them to obey you when you're not a kid?

Dude?! [Crocker mumbles a bit to himself] I haven't heard that since growing up in the 60's. [Denzel appears please with the other using the term, 'dude'.] YOU'RE WELCOME! [The man exclaims and twitching his body though it's more a sound of someone not sitting still on a chair.]

I'll never understand that either why others can't believe in such manners. For some reason they think that [tch] science can explain everything! [When science in fact doesn't explain everything.]

[Crocker scoffs.] Help the United States government with their top secret Area 51 program? The same government that refused to fund my fairy research when, I, Mr. Crocker had my presentation all those years ago? [Not happening. Unless Hagukure means himself, in which case so far Denzel doesn't have an issue with him.]

That's just a plain silly question, YES! They do! Why those fairies back home could use their magical powers to create wormholes if they wanted too! [Not to mention swap bodies and just throw off the laws of physics as Timmy seems fitting.]

I've invented such devices that can be used their magical powers... Not that there's any of those kinds of - FAIRIES here. [However, how about Clefairies?]

[Pause] Wait... a second... How did you that? How did you know they obey children?

Edited 2013-08-25 19:50 (UTC)

[Wow, this dude's oooold. But there are people into this stuff at all ages so Hagakure's not that surprised.]

You sure about that, dude? I think this stuff is totally scientific!

[He leans the 'Gear on his lap so he can cross his arms. Time to lay down some government conspiracy theories.]

But you know what? The government already knows aliens exist, but they don't want to reveal it to the public! That's why they say there's no real scientific evidence. They're just hiding it, dude! Probably the same thing about fairies, I bet!

[And then to Crocker's last question, he shrugs, a little confused why Crocker thought that was such a big deal.]

Well they grant kids' wishes, so why wouldn't they, dude?

[Denzel eyes Hagakure carefully and quite interested.] What do you mean you believe this stuff is science? [Truth be told Crocker isn't sure what to call his magic researching but definitely not the word! But... That's probably because his world only sees science as logic and logic only and considering, Crocker was badmouthed and had his reputation by trying to call magic research science...]

Yes, yes. I know the government knows aliens are real... And why doesn't the goverment reveal the truth to the public. What's the big secert? [Excuse Denzel secrets don't make much sense to him for the most part.]
HOW IS THERE NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE IF THEY HAVE AN ALIEN?! WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE?! [Denzel exclaims in anger. Than a beat.]

... No, no. I'm positive the government in my universe isn't hiding the existence of fairies. [Probably doesn't want to ask how Crocker knows but someone is a bit of computer hacker.]

OF COURSE THEY GRANT THE WISHES OF CHILDREN. [There's a pause as he scratches the side of his head.] I'm just wondering how you knew that, yes.

It's scientific 'cause it's real, you get me? Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, dude!

[He's oddly passionate about this.]

They're not revealing this stuff to the public 'cause they don't want the public to know. Simple as that, dude. If they found alien technology, they'd want to hoard it for themselves. Wouldn't they want to do that with the fairy magic too?

[... And considering Crocker wants to do the same thing, Hagakure's not sure why he even brought that point up. If he had fairy magic, he'd want everyone to know about it. It'd be so cool!]

Isn't that what fairy godparents always do though? [He pauses to consider it though.] Actually...I guess they were only around young women from the stories I know. Huh, guess I made a leap of logic there, dude.

Oh, no. One can shake my faith on this subject. [Crocker seems over confident about that but the man faith was rooted so deeply, all the reason.]

And don't let anyone shake your faith.

...[Denzel bites his lower lip with his overbite] Considering, those scientists rejected my offer to hoard the fairy magic with, I'd have to say - NO!

[There's a pause for a beat change.]

Yes [With the tone of obviously.] I see. Interesting.

[There's another pause.] Tell me, what exactly inspired you to be so interested in this area, mmm?

Ignore that idiot, he's full of shit-

[...this guy is talking about fairies. With tutus and wings and a crown and all that girly shit.

Time to put that backpedal to the medal and reverse outta here.]

Look, we didn't get abducted by any fucking aliens, so thanks I guess and bye!

[And off goes that feed, on Leon's end anyway. What a nutter.]

[Again, Denzel continues to be surrounded in darkness and dim lighting. Only his glasses and white shirt standing out.]

I never said aliens. I said - FAIRY GODPARENTS! [Which he hits the floor.] Ow!

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fortune 001 | video/action for New Bark Town [DR spoilers mentioned]

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